Life, Loss and to Live Again

About Me

About Me

My experience with grief and loss has been both personal and professional.

Personal: I have also been touched by devastating personal losses and know how sometimes the process of grieving can be a difficult and rarely a straight path. My experiences have taught me that no matter how great the losses are, leaving a hole in your heart, we can learn to live again. Life will not be the same as before the loss, but after moving through the grief we are a new and different person whose heart’s hole can be filled again. Due to my experiences, I know my purpose is to make a difference in the lives of people – like you, who are working through your own losses no matter the source.

Clinical

I have worked with many people of all ages and at different life stages to help them cope and to find ways of moving forward after a loss.Grief is a very personal journey, and whether you have experienced the loss of a loved one, a relationship or ghosting,a pet, a job, or anything you held dear, I’m here to tell you it is possible to find meaning, purpose and to live again in a different way.

Credentials

“Effectiveness without values is a tool without a purpose” – Edward de Bono

Our values represent who we are, a personal code of conduct – like a “guide to behaviour”.

Mindfulness is the core to my practice – it is the human ability to be fully present, to be aware of where we are, what we are doing and not to be overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on. I believe that to be in the moment allows us to accept our experiences, even when those experiences and emotions are so painful, such as working through the process of grief.

Counselling Online

If you are interested in finding out more about counselling online and how it may work for you, please contact me through marciacooper@toliveagain.ca (a non-confidential email address) or check out the FAQ – Life, Loss and to Live Again – Online Counselling for possible answers to your questions.

Why are Core Values Important in Counselling?

Edward de Bono
"Effectiveness without values is a tool without a purpose”
Mindfulness is the core to my practice – it is the human ability to be fully present, to be aware of where we are, what we are doing and not to be overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on. I believe that to be in the moment allows us to accept our experiences, even when those experiences and emotions are so painful, such as working through the process of grief.
Guide To Behaviour
Our values represent who we are, a personal code of conduct
Mindfulness is the core to my practice – it is the human ability to be fully present, to be aware of where we are, what we are doing and not to be overly reactive or overwhelmed by what’s going on. I believe that to be in the moment allows us to accept our experiences, even when those experiences and emotions are so painful, such as working through the process of grief.

Within my work of mindfulness, the following five values are the guides to my practise.

Hope

The belief that change is possible – if we don’t have hope then we don’t have tomorrow.

Resilience

When one is faced with a problem, what is the solution? What is it trying to teach you? How can I bounce back, even in grief?

Forgiveness

Allowing our thoughts and feelings of anger, hurt, hatred (all energies that are debilitating) to be released. These feelings “zap our energy” especially when attached to grief. Forgiveness doesn’t change the past but allows us to move forward and take control of ourselves (not dependent what another has done – even in death).

Understanding

To listen and to learn – one has to understand where a person is at before they can help themselves or someone else.

Empowerment

Allows for the courage to make change so we can be the best version of ourselves.

Grief and Loss

“In the end, just three things matter:How well we have lived
                                                            How well we have loved
How well we have learned to let go.” 

– Jack Kornfield

Grief is a natural response to the loss of someone or something very important to you and deeply loved.  The loss may cause sadness and may cause you to think of very little else besides the loss.

Grieving is the process we go through in adjusting to our emotional “rollercoaster” and to the “new” life we now experience through this loss.

Most importantly, everyone grieves differently – no one grieves the same and there is no normal or expected period for grieving!  Much of a person’s grieving will depend on who they are, the nature of their loss, and their beliefs.

Kinds of Grief and Loss -Briefly Explained

01
Normal Grief
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02
Anticipatory Grief
an expected loss – such as an illness or age.
03
Sudden Grief
an unexpected loss – such as in an accident, suicide, or disaster (flooding, fire, etc.)
04
Delayed Grief
Grief that occurs later after the loss, sometimes years later and possibly can be more intense than the initial grief.
05
Disenfranchised Grief
An experience of loss, that others don’t acknowledge the importance of the loss in a person’s life – such as a pet or ex-spouse.
06
Complicated Grief
grief that doesn’t progress as expected and the grief is so prolonged that this grief can dramatically interfere with a person’s ability to function. A condition known as Persistent Complex Bereavement Disorder (PCBD), is a recognized disability with a diagnosis determined by a doctor, as soon as possible.
07
Chronic Grief
Grief That Can Lead To Clinical Depression, Suicidal Or Self-harming Thoughts. If You Feel You Are Experiencing Chronic Grief, Please Contact Your Doctor Or Hospital.

Everyone’s grief is different – no two are alike!

“Grief is the price we pay for love.” – Queen Elizabeth II

Is On-Line Counselling Right for You?

Due to our ever-changing world, technology and our own lifestyles, the practice of counselling therapy has also evolved. My practice provides the client with an alternative to face-2-face (meeting in the counselling therapist’s office) by working from your computer using the internet. All that is needed access to secure internet, privacy to write or tell your story on your personal computer (to ensure security, this is strongly recommended). Usually, counselling therapy begins when a client chooses an online therapist by locating them through an association (eg. Canadian Counselling and Psychotherapy Association https://www.ccpa-accp.ca), a website or a search engine (Google, Bing); and then contacts the counselling therapist via email or telephone or text. In my practice, I generally will reply within 2-3 business days with an initial 15 minute free consultation. Questions may be – what your initial concerns are, how my practice works, information detailing about the process. During this time the client can ask questions and seek clarification on how best we can work together; and if the client believes we are a “good fit” we will schedule an appointment. Prior to our first appointment, I will send some pre-counselling/intake forms and agreements to complete – just as I would do with face-2-face. The relationship between my client and I is the base for moving forward – where my client feels comfortable working together. This relationship is extremely important for an effective outcome.

Reasons for Choosing Online Secure Messaging

Convenience –writing your story when you are ready – no appointment is needed, adapts to your lifestyle, allowing you to write when time works for you at a time that suits you!  Allows greater access to counselling if you are housebound or living in rural community.

Flexibility – allows you the time to write and to put them into draft, look at them any time, edit and reflect, make changes if needed. Online allows you the time to tell your story.

Safer for some people – removes some of the anxiety you may feel, no need to worry about missing an appointment.  Others may feel safer writing rather than speaking to a counsellor.

Sometimes a person may feel their grief is less than another person’s grief.

Increased anonymity and privacy – no one will know you are seeing a counsellor.

Record of discussion– perfect for reflection, which can help you to find solutions to your issues – like a personal journal.  Re-reading can clarify things, remind you of what’s been discussed, sometimes may bring more meaning later.

Time– anytime, anywhere, when the time suits you – IMPORTANT – make sure your site is secure!

“Doing it for Yourself” – writing, reflecting, and revising your story gives youcontrol and ownership– can be very powerful in your healing.

Video & Phone Conferencing

Video Conferencing – a form of online counselling that most closely resembles a face-2-face session.  With video conference counselling, both the counsellor and client can view each other by use of an internet video camera.

Phone Conferencing– access to a phone, preferably a cell phone, as one can move to a private area in the home and using headphones that minimize background noise.

 

Working together in video/phone conferencing can be just as engaging as sitting together in a counselling office, however, unlike online secure messaging an appointment must be made.

Reasons for NOT Choosing Online Counselling

  • Online Counselling Therapy is not for everyone and not for every situation:
  • If you have suicidal ideations or of suicide or of violence (hurting oneself or someone else). Please contact your physician or 911 immediately or proceed to your nearest hospital emergency.
  • If you have been diagnosed with a mental health issue or if experiencing Chronic Grief
  • Responses to online counselling usually within 2-3 business days – there isn’t an immediate reply, and could be especially troublesome for those with overwhelming and unmanageable feelings and emotions.
  • You are under the age of 19 – please contact your school service, reach out to one of the services in your community or contact one of the help lines listed below.

Resources for Immediate Assistance

  • Emergency 9-1-1
  • Crisis Line 1-888-353-CARE (2273)
  • Suicide Distress Line 1-800-SUICIDE (784-2433)
  • VictimLINK (24 hours) 1-800-563-0808
  • Operator “0” – ask for support connecting to help line in your area.
  • Kid’s Help Phone 1-800-668-6868 or text CONNECT (696968)

Booking Appointment

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